Reflecting

Day 3 of fasting make-up and eating out. I'm having most trouble with the make up fast. Already, I have caught myself wrestling with feelings of inadequacy and not feeling "put-together". It's crazy how much more i feel exposed and transparent with a bare face. Even walking into my class Tuesday I felt self-concious as questions of my worth and vicious lies swirled around my brain. Praise Jesus that self consciousness isn't an area i typically struggle with. But this fast has already revealed how much I find confidence in feeling "put together" as far as looks are concerned.

As I sit here, day one of my internship with the amazing Middle School/Senior High Ministry team at Hosanna!, I'm brainstorming ideas for a prayer walk for the middle school girls retreat. One of the reasons I'm fasting make up for the next three weeks is on behalf of these students and their own faith journey, and in preparation for the retreat. While the prayer walk project involves creativity, planning and leading middle school girls to know and experience the love of Christ (all passions of mine! :P), I also want the prayer walk to glorify God first and foremost. I want it to be original and creative, to really make the girls think, meditate on and spend time with the Lord rather than cheesy and redundant. God, be the passion and fuel behind this planning.

As God is uncovering areas in my own life where I find confidence outside of Him, I have this amazing opportunity to use that in ministering to middle school girls. How SWEET is that?! God, be the source of our self-worth. As we experience more of Your love, may we allow it to transform our lives, from the inside out, so that we may be a testament to your grace, mercy and all things good.

Awakening Fast: 21 Days

Twenty one days of fasting starts today. Substance church is partaking in the Awakening fast (check it: http://www.awake21.org/) Sunday's sermon really put the idea of fasting into perspective. The idea of fasting can be written off as outdated and unimportant in today's day and age. The purpose of fasting can be misunderstood - as God's way of making us suffer or as a method of bartering with God (we give up this, if you give us this in exchange...) Pastor Nick Foulks really hit home with this main idea: "We don't fast to get something from God, we fast to ALIGN ourselves with God". When we are truly aligned with God, He is able to do a new work in us. So often does the clutter of this world and our focus on the tangible, immediate situation that surrounds us (rather than focus on the ever-present, unchanging LOVE and plans the Lord has) distract us and trap us in our bondages and footholds.

The idea of fasting is insanely relevant and extremely essential to our lives. If you feel called to give something up - whether it is a traditional food fast (giving up one meal a day, fasting for a 24 hour period one a week, refraining from fast food or dessert, etc.) or takes another form - join us for the Awakening fast. I guarantee God will move and work wonders in your lives and the lives around you. As Pastor Nick reminded us, fasting allows our sins to be broken off and for us to become aware of the needs and live s of people around us. Check it: 6Is not this the fast that i choose: to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the straps of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke? 7Is it not to share your bread with the hungry and bring the homeless poor into your house...8Then shall your light break forth like the dawn and your healing shall spring up speedily; your righteousness shall go before you; the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard. -Isaiah 58:6-8

I feel the Lord calling me to fast a couple things:

1) Make up. It's so easy to go without make up on a mission trip in a foreign country. And i gave up make up for five days this summer (check out the blog post here). But in the ordinary ebb and flow of normal life, it is HARD. I love putting make up on - it's like an art (as cheesy as that sounds). It also covers up blemishes and enhances...well, your appearance. But how much time do i spend in front of a mirror each morning, getting ready for the day? This fast will not only give me more time to spend with the Lord each morning, but it will emphasize the importance of finding our self worth in Him. I also feel called to give up this area on behalf of the middle and senior high girls in my small groups! May their own faith walk be strengthened by knowledge of God's great love for them, may they find their self worth in the Lord, for their purity, for their hearts to find strength in God and not things of this world.

2) Eating out. See ya later, Panera, Caribou, Flame, etc.! I spend so much money eating out when a peanut butter and jelly sandwich from home would be cheaper and just as delicious. If i can put so much of my finances towards eating out, isn't there a better place for them? I'm hoping that this fast from eating out will lead to more clarity regarding finances, investing in my business, savings, and most importantly - giving more for Kingdom advances.

So, do you feel called to fast anything? If so, seek God first and foremost. What is it He's calling you to give up? What area of your lives have you not trusted Him to enter and are afraid to give to Him? Surround yourselves with people that will support you in this fast and set goals you can actually reach so you are not bogged down by failure but focused on the reason for fasting - alignment with God.

Musing on the New Year

New Years Resolutions are lousy. In attempts to better our lives, we firmly decide to do or not do something for the upcoming year. While the first of January marks a new year and new beginnings, why must we wait until the new year to strive for a better quality of life? It's also an ongoing joke that New Year's Resolutions are broken not long after they are put into place. That diet, that work out routine, that decision to go to church more or read our bibles more or whatever shape our resolutions take are kicked to the curb long before the beginning of the new year. So much for resolutions being "firm" decisions if we are able to dismiss them so quickly.

While i fail to see the point of New Year's Resolutions, i do think it is essential to strive for a better quality of life. But what if we took the time to evaluate our life - to notice areas of weakness or places that require upkeep, to locate areas of spiritual dryness or that need refinement - on a monthly or weekly basis? What if we took time to spend intimate time with the Lord on our own, while allowing fellow brothers and sisters in Christ to surround us, build us up and provide us with fellowship and community? Let's not stop there - what if we took the time to give back to strangers and reach beyond the walls of church in outreach and service? It is my prayer that you - no matter where you are in your faith walk, whether or not you have chosen to believe and follow God - and me enter into this new year open-hearted and anticipating a better quality of life.

I have been convicted time and time again, by my parents and other friends, that i am far too busy. I over-schedule myself, am always on the go and am hard to reach. Even in this Season of Rest (that is rapidly drawing to a close) I still found myself running around quite frequently. In Brennan Manning's The Wisdom of Tenderness, he asks readers to examine our lives and ask ourselves a series of questions. Here are just a few that convicted me:
-Have I kept others waiting?
-Have i carelessly forgotten (or simply not kept) an appointment or a date?
-Have I been difficult for others to reach, feeling too busy to put myself at their disposal?

Talk about a shot to the heart - these are areas of my life I so struggle in. So i pray, that into this new year, God refines me and teaches me the importance of keeping appointments and not allowing a busy lifestyle to interfere with reaching others and spending time with them in fellowship.

It's a new year. Instead of making a resolution that you fail to keep, i challenge you (and myself) to continuously take the time to examine our lives and strive to find a better quality of life. God, teach us to love more, to give more, to serve more, to reach out more and to seek you wholeheartedly. Open up our eyes to You and Your merciful ways.