El Salvador Part 1: There is Need

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience... And above all these put on love which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful - Colossians 3:12-15

Ten days ago, i returned to the United States, after spending 10 days in El Salvador and Guatemala. I'm frustrated that i've allowed a busy lifestyle to keep me from seriously reflecting about all the Lord revealed on this trip. Or perhaps in this reflecting of the trip, He's seriously continued to teach me just how much need there is - for Him, in any and all that we do.




Upon first arriving in Guatemala and El Salvador, my 'American', white, middle class perspective instantly detected how much need exists in the two countries. Homes are made of cement, concrete, tin, whatever is available; yards fenced in with jagged sticks and scraps. The bright paint on the majority of homes has become dull - worn, chipped, corroded, unkept. Some of the dirt roads are more like rocky, muddy and uneven terrain, simply used as a road because they've been worn down and used so much. There are stray dogs everywhere, mangy and emaciated - a look of hunger and closeness to death gleaming in their eyes. The plumbing systems are unable to break down toilet paper, bridges aren't exactly the safest, drinking the water is NOT recommended, Burger Kings and McDonalds are patrolled by armed security guards. Clearly, there is need. There is need.



As i stared out the window of the van, heading to El Salvador, God truly revealed something to me. I watched the torrential downpour turn roads into sloppy messes. Safe and dry in the van, we passed families forced to evacuate their houses, as they started to flood. I kept thinking - there is NEED. THERE IS NEED. So much need here. It disgusted me. I become outraged as i began to pray and ask God how it could be so. Why am i so blessed to live in the safety and security of the United States, comfortably in a middle class family?! How unfair. I have too many clothes to count, i am educated, i have a car. I have everything i need and then some. And yet, here in the United States, there is still need. Our society is selfish and highly individualized. Money = success. We do not allow ourselves to be seen as weak or to admit our faults and failures, strength is coveted. We wear masks to conceal our biggest pains, fears, hurts and true state of being. We buy more than we can afford. We are highly consumed and caught up in commercialism. This is our need.



And while the need in El Salvador and Guatemala is more apparent in different ways, especially with the mentality and mindset of a United States citizen, God revealed to me that there is need everywhere. This is the condition of this fallen world. But in our need - whether it's poverty that grips us, addictions, obsessions, hurts, scars, wounds, pain, etc. - we realize our need for something MORE. Something NOT of this world. Someone bigger than ourselves, bigger than the pains and poverty. We need Jesus. Whether we live in Guatemala, El Salvador, Africa, the US, or any other nation, we need Jesus. Once we admit that we are absolutely nothing, that we are completely depraved without Him, can He truly meet our needs. In reaching out to our brothers and sisters in poverty and different parts of the world, may the Lord soften our hearts as well, and identify our own need for and necessary reliance on Him. May we reach out to those in poverty - not because we are better or greater, but because we have been blessed immensely and are called to share the wealth and resources.

There is need. There always will be, until Jesus comes back. May the Lord reveal our own need for Him. May we respond to His calling and humble ourselves before Him. May the needs of this world not hinder us, cripple us or bring us to an apathetic state, but open our eyes and RESPOND. Bring revival, God. Bring a further reliance on YOU.



Give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food that is needful for me, lest i be full and deny you and say, "Who is the Lord?" Proverbs 30:8 My prayer is that the Lord changes my heart, to truly be more than satisfied with not being rich and not being poor. I want to be at a place where i rely on Him always, where i recognize my need for Him in any state of life.


"I see the cloud i stand in,
i want to see your glory as Moses did.
Flashes of light, rolls of thunder,
i'm not afraid. i'm not afraid.

Show me Your glory, show me Your glory.

I'm awed by Your beauty,
lost in Your eyes,
I want to walk in Your glory like Jesus did.
Your glory surrounds me,
i'm overwhelmed"
-Jesus Culture

Addictions and El Salvador

The team has returned from Guatemala and El Salvador. Wow, what a trip. The Lord is astounding and powerful and faithful. His works and ways are perfect. As i was on the trip and dwelling on all that the Lord was revealing, i felt called to write about experiences that fall into three parts and plan on blogging them during the next week:

Part 1: There is Need
Part 2: Beauty in Simplicity
Part 3: There is God

I was so blessed to meet so many amazing people on this trip, to bond with the team and see the Lord's hand. Being the photography lover i am, i took over 1,000 photos and can't wait to include them in the next few blogs! Keep checking in - they'll be up soon :)

For now, I'll keep this short and sweet, as God is still revealing so much, post-mission trip. Some call it culture shock. Already, I am so shocked at how consumerism, commercialism and a need to have so much STUFF grips America. I'm addicted to shopping. Yes, I only bargain shop, but i get suckered in to buying so much STUFF. Clothes, mostly. It seems as though our addictions are most apparent and most tempting when we're under stress or pressure, or our emotions are out of whack. Isn't that crazy? That's when the Lord wants our hearts and attention MOST - when we are vulnerable and feel the weight of the world and need His sweet love and mercy. So why, why do we turn to our addictions to temporarily satisfy us? I feel called to give up clothes shopping for a year. 365 days. That seems impossible - especially for me!! But i fully believe i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. It will be a battle, that's for sure - no shirts, no pants, no jeans, no accessories, no SHOES, no NOTHING. Nothing for 365 days. Until July 24,2011. Christ Jesus, give me strength. Give me Your heart, an ability to see the need in this world. A desire and thirst for You that cannot be quenched by consumerism or any other addiction.

Busyness, Beauty Pageants and El Salvador

"For i know the plans i have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope..." Jeremiah 29:11

Last summer, my 'plans' did not include being a part of the Miss Lakeville Scholarship Pageant. Last summer, i never would've seen myself heading to El Salvador. Last summer, I had NO idea of the Lord's plans for me - to grow me and mature me. And though yes, it was and has been an excruciatingly painful journey, there have been sweet moments and beacons of hope, pointing to the Lord's promise. I would not, i could not, exchange the pain and loss and pruning of my heart for the relationship i now have with the Lord. Though sometimes i struggle in choosing the Lord's will over my own, He is constant, He is worth it, His will is always good and righteous.

So, in a super brief summary, my life has been CRAZY! I love the go go go, but i also have felt a lack of God-time impact my heart and i am thirsting for more of Him. Let's see...busyness. I've been keeping busy with TONS of photography editing, some wedding shoots, engagement shoots, BABY shoots - thank you God, for the opportunities :). I have also been working to complete my last online class before i technically 'graduate'. I've been trying to see as many amazing people and spend time with them. Spending time with family, preparing for El Salvador, working at Applebees and Data Entry and most recently, being crazy busy with Miss Lakeville stuff. Which brings me to my second point - Beauty Pageants. I have been blessed to spend time with 10 amazing women as we have practiced and prepared for the Miss Lakeville scholarship program. The pageant was on Wednesday night! It all went so fast. The highlight for me was praying with all the contestants before the show went on, giving God all the glory. It's so easy to get caught up in ourselves, i feel, especially in a pageant. And the Lord deserves all the glory and honor. As the pageant went on, thank you God - i was not nervous! I can truly say, trusting in Him with the outcome helped relieve that nervousness. And wow, i was honored to receive Miss Congeniality and First Princess, runner up to the beautiful Miss Lakeville - Jenna Diercks. I love all the women that competed, they have such beautiful hearts and a variety of passions. And i look forward to spending the next year with Tiffany Payne and Jenna as we are ambassadors of Lakeville - what!? Crazy title, huh?! Haha. Yesterday was crazy busy with the parade and all the Pan O Prog events. Today is the Appreciation Picnic and then it's time to pack for El Salvador.



Mmm, El Salvador. I have the amazing opportunity to help lead, along with Brie Peters, Nathan Lyke and Jackie Koch a group of 17 wonderful high schoolers on a 10 day mission trip! We leave TOMORROW at 3:30 in the MORNING! Can you believe it?! It has come so fast!!! We'll be traveling through parts of Guatemala and El Salvador and visiting orphanages, performing skits we've prepared, and just reaching out to people and sharing the love of the Lord and the Good news. I can not wait. I would be more than thankful if you would pray for the team - for the Good News to be heard and accepted, for the hearts and lives of those in El Salvador and Guatemala, for healings, for miracles, for safety and health, for unity. Thank you, SO MUCH. This missionary's heart is SO excited to see God move.

So, until July 21, I will be in El Salvador. And in this busy, joyful season, I have learned the importance of making time to spend with the Lord. It is necessary - for peace and for our heart to remain steadfast in Him. Do you feel that thirst? That unsatiable desire and need to spend time in Him? BEHOLDING Him? It is truly what we all need more of. What's been going on in your life? What has the Lord been revealing? I would LOVE to hear about it!






*Ignore the cheesy music video, this song is AMAZING.

Naked Faces: Makeup Fast Reflection

This is a reflection, in response to a previous blog post and challenge: One Week: No Makeup.

I went five days without makeup. Truth be told, i felt ashamed of a naked face at times - less put together, less...beautiful. At the same time, being free from the bondages of makeup was liberating! There was no need to check my face to ensure my makeup hadn't run, no need to touch up, no chance to hide behind a mask that covers my flaws.

As i have prayed about this follow up post, i can't shake the thought that our obsession with makeup and appearance is directly related to the Fall. In the beginning, Eve was not ashamed of her nakedness - which had to include a natural, naked face - as she dwelled in the presence of God and walked alongside Him. So when [Eve] saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took its fruit and ate...then the eyes of [Adam and Eve] were open and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths - Genesis 3:6-7 Eating from the Tree of Knowledge went directly against God and, from the received knowledge, made us ashamed of our nakedness. I think it is safe to say that here, an obsession with beauty and a craving to be perceived as such, entered the lives of all women. With shame came a need to cover ourselves - and makeup does just that.

So, my next step? I truly admire women that have chosen to live their day-to-day life makeup free. For now, i feel that God prompted this fast as a rude awakening and to instill an awareness of just how pressing the need to be beautiful is for the majority of women. For now, i will continue to wear makeup on most days. While there isn't a perceived lifestyle change, there is definitely a change in mindset and heart. I will not be ashamed to walk out of the house without makeup. I will not allow makeup to define me, to rule over my heart and be directly associated with beauty. Every time i put on makeup, it will be necessary to examine my heart and question my intentions. There may be future times when the Lord calls me to give up makeup again. And, first and foremost, the true beauty that every woman holds comes from her spirit. As 1 Peter 3:4 reminds us, this beauty is not fleeting, it is not fading, nor perishable. This beauty is eternal, as our spirit is of the Lord - the one and only constant, the Creator of all things beautiful and good.

You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride; you have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes...how beautiful is your love, my sister my bride! How much better is your love than wine... - Song of Solomon 4:9-10 Our Bridegroom is enthralled by us, He is ravished by our beauty - what could be better than our CREATOR finding us simply stunning, just as we are? Do you believe it? I mean, do you truly trust that who we are in the Lord is where our true beauty comes from? We, sinning and imperfect, are beautifully redeemed, made beautiful in Him - beauty from ashes, life from His death. Not MAC, not Clinique, not Maybelline, nor any other makeup, not the clothes we wear, the jewelry, the tattoos, the...stuff we adorn ourselves in define us or make us any more beautiful. It is the Lord, and His love for us. Let our souls find rest in this, let our thirst for beauty be satiated in how the Creator looks at us. May we invest more time and concern in our relationship with the Lord than our outward appearance - that is my prayer in all of this.

I challenge each one of us to examine our hearts - do you truly know and TRUST HE has made us beautiful? A relationship with the Lord is the essence of beauty.

Take a look at these lovely women, embracing the natural, genuine beauty each of them possess. <3 Behold, you are beautiful, my love; behold you are beautiful; your eyes are doves. - Song of Solomon 1:15