I am incredibly grateful for the opportunity to grow up in a middle class family, where worrying about if we'd have enough food to eat or a safe place to live and sleep were never concerns. I have had opportunity after opportunity handed to me - the ability to travel and see the world, the opportunity to attend a university and now SEMINARY, the chance to go "back to school" shopping for a new wardrobe and new shoes each year.
And yet, as I'm reading Claiborne's Irresistible Revolution, my world is being rocked. It's like his words and the ideas he conveys on how to live a life of poverty and simplicity is one more chip into the mold of the life i've accepted and know so well - a comfortable existence. I've seen snapshots of what life is like in third world countries on mission trips, I've seen cases of homelessness and soup kitchens, but i've seen them through the windows of air-conditioned vehicles or with the mentality that I have an escape and can return to life as i know it whenever i want.
Here is the quote that has had my mind reeling since i read it: One of my friends has a shirt marked with the words of late Catholic bishop Dom Helder Camara: "When i fed the hungry, they called me a saint. When i asked why people are hungry, they called me a communist." Charity wins awards and applause, but joining the poor gets you killed. People do not get crucified for charity. People are crucified for living out a love that disrupts the social order, that calls forth a new world. People are not crucified for helping poor people. People are crucified for joining them. - [Claiborne, 129]. As a girl from the suburbs, charity and giving to the poor is what's kosher, it's deemed enough. But is it enough? Are some people called to give generously (backed by the idea that "to whom much is given, much is expected")? Or are we all called to something more? Jesus lived his entire life amongst the poor, He was one of them. It wasn't a matter of how much should He give to the poor, it was a matter of choosing to live that lifestyle.
Given a choice, how much is enough? Because i've been blessed with a life of opportunity, can i be satisfied with simply giving? Are some people called to live a life of poverty and others called to give while continuing to live a comfortable life? Or is it one calling some take literally and abide by while others settle for charity? Am i asking, what next? and even considering a drastic life change because i envision an idealistic and inaccurate idea of poverty? How much have material items drowned out God's voice in our lives? How much is too much? Can I continue on living the way i do, if i use my education and future vocation for the greater good? While my dreams of international missions are still a possibility, what of the state and great need in this country? What if i could own a house and open it up to the homeless? What if i adopted a crazy amount of kids and gave them an opportunity for a "better" life? What if i was a foster mom and opened my house to kids who are struggling with feelings of abandonment and self worth? What if i didn't even own a home? As all of these questions plague my mind, I love Claiborne's response: Not everyone responds the same way. Some will give up their houses and leave their fields. Others will offer their possessions to the community and form hospitality houses like Mary and Martha, and Peter's family...There are Matthews who encounter Jesus and sell everything. But there are also the Zacchaeuses who will meet Jesus and redefine their careers. So not everyone responds in the same way, but we must respond" [Claiborne, 142].
We must respond. As a church full of people to whom God has unique purposes and unique callings for each individual, it is our job to respond, in one form or another: to glorify Him with our vocations, with the way we lead our lives, with the purchases we make, even down to the amount of clothes we buy, how much we spend on dining out, how much we give. Our calling may be as drastic as giving up a life of luxury for a life of poverty. After hearing countless messages and sermons on giving and the needs of this world, after seeing mere glimpses of poverty in different faces and places, is Claiborne's Irresistible Revolution the cherry on top, the final chip that will cause this mold of "life as i know it" to shatter? Here, as a twenty something woman who ha been giving much opportunity and an infinite amount of blessings, I am left wide-eyed and wondering - God, what is the lifestyle you are calling me to? How are you asking me to respond?
Hey :) I have a couple of thoughts after reading your blog entry a couple days ago.
ReplyDelete1. Children shouldn't be in a postion where they have to think about where their next meal comes from etc. Children who grow up without those basic things being met without question have to either spend the rest of their lives in fear of not having enough (often resulting in hoarding of resources - the sense of if I give this away then I have nothing) or they have to go through a process with the Lord to reach a place of security in the area of provision. When children are secure in provision via their home environment then they automatically believe He can and will provide for them. It is very important and has a lot of implications.
2. Are all called to choose poverty?
I first thought of Heidi Baker in Mozambique and though she lives among the people and has set up this orphanage and finances on paper may not seem okay over and over again supernatural provision, food being multiplied, people being healed, resulting in now hundreds of churches all over Mozambique. Heidi was born into a typical american family who from a young age knew she was called overseas and she ended up getting her doctorate in theology in England and with her husband chose to move to Mozambique, to give up the earthly security of knowing where provision is coming from to being completely dependent on God - if He doesn't come through then they're screwed. This is something that has been birthed, something that Heidi and her husband pursued the Lord on, and still she spends 1-3 hrs every day before Him in prayer and worship, the place they've grown into is one where He always comes through.
I then thought of one of my pastor's friends that he was talking to us about at school, God pours millions of dollars out of this man's hands, he literally can't give it away, he'll be on the way to mailing that next check out in donation and someone else has already poured again into his bank account. This man doesn't consider it his money, he won't live that luxurious lifestyle but God does use him to filter resources, looking at the guy you'd never guess what his job in the Kingdom is.
I think it is easy to look at someone like Heidi Baker and think she's just a special individual and that we, the average person, could never do it. I think the average person could choose poverty, I don't think it is beyond anyone, but I also don't think we're bad or wrong for knowing that it isn't for us. God made us to be inviduals, we're very capable of doing things that are outside of our natural bent but there is a reason why we have a natural bent. We are each called to something and being okay with it not being something so "dramatic" as living with the poor if isn't supposed to be that is important.
I went through a season of wrestling with this with Daddy, I had to figure out that if I don't take my place in His army there is no one else who can take my place - in His Kingdom I am irreplaceable, I am unique for a reason. Through that realizing that it is really okay for me to have things and opportunities that other people don't have. Just as someone else getting something doesn't take away from my provision (what's available to me) me getting something doesn't take away from anyone else's provision.
Blessings, -Amber-