Scissors, Prayer & El Salvador

My dear friend, Lindsay Stadler shared with me a truly accurate representation of us (well, me in this case) giving God control. Her pastor used the analogy of his grandson holding a pair of scissors. When the pastor asked his two-year-old grandson to give him the scissors, the grandson put the scissors down. Right by his side, still within his reach. Do you get it?! A lot of times, when God asks us to give something up, to surrender something and give it over to Him, we don't comply. Or we're convinced we've given that thing, that situation, or that person "over to Him" when really, we have "put them down" right next to us, where they're still within our reach and able to be picked up again whenever we choose. As scissors are dangerous to a two year old who does not fully know about the sharp edges, how to handle and hold them, a lot of the things the Lord asks us to give up are dangerous to us and where our hearts are at. The things we hold onto inhibit us from trusting Him truly, letting go and letting God have it ALL. This image was right on; it matched my heart and what God has been calling me to do. I've been holding the scissors. They have cut me, deeper than i know. What I've held on to has wounded me. And though there have been times where I let it go, it's always been set right next to me. Within reach. Time to place it in My Father's hands. Time to lay it on the altar. Lindsay came over today and just prayed with me, in my favorite place at the U of M campus (by the river :P). She even brought a balloon over and i "let it go" :). What a sacred place - a place I've built my altar, a place where God has exchanged beauty for ashes and is creating in me a clean heart. Thank you GOD, for new life. And for dear friends like Linds.

"Even the weakest saint can experience the power of the deity of the Son of God, when he is willing to "let go." But any effort to "hang on" to the least bit of our own power will only diminish the life of Jesus in us. We have to keep letting go, and slowly, but surely, the great full life of God will invade us, penetrating every part. Then Jesus will have complete and effective dominion in us, and people will take notice that we have been with Him." -Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest (April 12)

This weekend, I've really felt God calling me to examine how i pray and commune with Him. I love love LOVE to worship, to dance around my room and just feel His presence in music. Sometimes, I cry out and plead with Him, call out to Him, tell Him what's on my heart and the desires in which i hope in. But sitting in silence, in reverence, and just taking Him in is SO hard for me. I think if we all looked at our lifestyles, sitting in silence and BASKING in Him is a difficult concept to grasp for us busy bodies. But it is necessary and absolutely essential in coming to know Christ and His heart. When we sit in silence, when we truly DWELL and take the time to let all worries, concerns and preoccupations fall out of our heads, we are able to find His peace. Sometimes, i think we don't "hear" the Lord because we don't allow Him a time or place to speak. He knows what's on our heart, and in those moments when we sit in silence with Him, He is able to have His will. His way. He is able to bring us His overwhelming peace and truly do a work in us. I'm spending the next couple weeks focusing on a Centering Prayer: repeating one WORD about God or a phrase from scripture and whispering it for fifteen minutes or more, allowing God in (for example, peace, Jesus, Lover, Redeemer, Healer, and i chose Beloved). BAHHH it's so hard to make my brain just STOP sometimes. But i know prayer is a discipline and it will take time; it will truly be worth it to know Him more. I encourage YOU to take time to dwell in Him. In silence. Thank you, lovely mentor for lending me this handbook :)

In other news, tonight the El Salvador team met for the first time! Oh my goodness, I am so excited to see the Lord move - in each team member as we prepare for the trip, in uniting us as a team, and in the hearts of those we'll meet during our time in El Salvador and Guatemala. I'm leading the trip with Brie and Nathan - two amazing followers of the Lord, who are so passionate and welcoming. I CAN NOT WAIT! And the team - 16ish high schoolers just opened up and poured out in fellowship after minutes of knowing each other! Mmm God, you're doing a work in them, in each one of us. Prepare our hearts. Let us trust You will provide the funding and are paving the way. May we follow after You and seek Your glory alone. Mm, what joy this meeting has brought me. What a reassurance and a peace to my heart :) I'll definitely be keeping you guys posted - we leave in the middle of July! If you are interested in praying/giving/ANYTHING don't hesitate to contact me :)

What a night - a night of letting go, trusting in the Lord and marveling at His ways and works.