Monday, January 25, 2010

Snowflakes, Seventh Graders and a Grateful Heart

"To be aware and alert to the presence of God manifested in a piece of music heard on the car radio, a daffodil, a kiss, an encouraging word from a friend, a thunderstorm, a newborn baby, a sunrise or sunset, a rainbow, or the magnificent lines on the face of an old lobster fisherman requires an inner freedom self created through prayer" - Brennan Manning, Ruthless Trust

According to Brennan Maning, being grateful requires us to be in a certain place and allow ourselves to live in a way that embraces gratitude. Being grateful requires prayer, a desire to change, and awareness, as Manning touches on in the preceding excerpt. When we take the time to look at the world around us - to notice the precious details, the simple joys, when we thank God in every circumstance, we are allowing our hearts to experience gratitude.
So, being grateful in today: Clothing wise, I wasn't exactly the most prepared to brave this wintery windy day. Upon stepping out of my cozy apartment, I instantly wished i had grabbed a hat, scarf and other winter accessories. Brrr was it cold! On the way to all my classes, I kicked myself over and over again for not being more prepared. After a long day at work, i headed back to the apartment to pick up a package before my night class. I randomly ran into Sarah, Lauren, and Brenna, a couple dear friends and a new one, who were on their way to Punch to get free pizza! I decided to join them and stand in the line that wrapped all the way around the block. After 20 minutes of standing in the cold, our minds were more fixed on the moment we would get to step into the warmth of the building and brick oven instead of on the free food. But, as we waited in the freezing cold, jumping up and down to stay warm, covering our ears and trying to distract ourselves with conversation, we noticed the snowflakes that were falling. Seriously, I am SO blown away by how intricate snowflakes are. I remember learning that every snowflake is different in a science class some years back, but when you actually see this phenomenon, it puts it into perspective! How beautiful and stunning snowflakes are - the thin, web-like flakes, the thicker more flower-shaped flakes - all intricately created and unique! How breathtaking were these little beauties - they would remain for just a moment: linger on the sleeve of a jacket or the loose wisps of hair - and then melt, only allowing a glimpse of their brilliance. Surely, these snowflakes reminded me of the presence of God. What a brilliant artist and clever Creator we have! He put so much beauty into each tiny snowflake! When we are aware and grateful, as Brennan Manning points out, we are able to find beauty in our everyday life. We are able to marvel at the cold, annoying, yet intricately-designed snowflakes and acknowledge God's omniscient presence. What are you grateful for? What have you noticed God's hand in lately?
Something else i am incredibly grateful for, is the blessing of youth. I was so so blessed to be a part of Hosanna!'s seventh grade retreat this weekend. Spending time with some amazing students - growing in relationship, laughing, playing volleyball, spending time in fellowship and small groups, worshipping our God, witnessing hearts being changed and molded, watching walls come down, and seeing bonds form are just a few areas that point to God and acknowledge His awesome presence. Mmm, i had the privilege to watch a group of girls grow closer together, listen to the struggles and hardships of an amazing young woman who is usually quiet and reserved. How amazing it was to watch her break out of her comfort zone and become more open and talkative. Truly a blessing. I am so grateful for middle and highschoolers - spending time with them and watching their lives transform as they desire to know our all-loving Lord more!

So, this week, i am learning the importance of gratitude and trusting the Lord. This past week, I was letdown by an unfair blow to my 'reputation'. I felt like, after two years, healing had replaced any hard feelings or hardness of heart. I had forgiven, surrendered, and trusted, but apparently the other person has not. How tough it was (and is) for me to accept that there is nothing more i can do. I am very much a "people-pleaser" and very hard on myself when i know i have let someone down. I take criticism personally, which i guess can be good or bad. So, prayer is the only way i can be grateful in this situation. Understanding that the Lord has a good and perfect plan for this summer, for my life, is where i place my hope.
I will also be learning how to be grateful in the wee hours of the morning. My special-education classroom/practicum starts tomorrow. At 7:30 am - bright and early! I am NOT a morning person. Yes, let me hit the snooze button a couple times and give me a couple minutes to drag myself out of bed and i'm usually bright and bubbly, but 7:30?! REALLY?! Why couldn't i have gotten a later start time?! Oh my gosh, will i need to be prayerful and attentive to the Lord's presence, especially at that time! Give me a grateful heart, Lord. Even in the disgusting early hours of the morning :)



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