So in Love

"Am i so in love with Him that i take no thought for where He might lead me?" -Oswald Chambers

Mmm, what words to wake up to this morning, as an uneasy feeling surrounds my heart. This is my prayer. To be hopelessly in love with Him, to lie in ruins before Him. To trust Him wholeheartedly, to surrender my all, so that He may lead and i may follow. Even though the next steps may be into total darkness, i long to follow. If our focus remains on our Lord and His endless love, there's no need to even think about what our next move is. If our hearts remain steadfast on Him and His promises, then He will lead us. I have this image, and yes, it's slightly corny. But all you lovers out there will know what i'm talking about: when you are looking into the eyes of the person you love, doesn't all else fade away? Like, have you ever been so entranced, so mesmerized and fixed on gazing into the eyes you love that nothing else matters? Not the next moment or the next breath? Ah, what a hopeless romantic i am, but this is what i WANT! I want to be so fixed on God, so captivated that all else fades away. So so so so bound to Him, that i won't question where He is leading.

So, i'm holding on to His promises and who God is. In Praise Gathering at NCU yesterday, I meditated on Ecclesiastes 3, and there being a time for everything. More specifically, A time to embrace and a time to turn away and God has made everything beautiful for it's own time -Ecclesiastes 3:11. There truly is a time for everything. Even the pain. But if we are so in love with God, we won't question where He is leading but simply FOLLOW. God is faithful. He loves us. May these promises penetrate our hearts.

I feel like ending this entry with recent joys and blessings. For though this desert has been trying, God has blessed me incredibly. Here are some from the past couple days:

- driving around an amazing group of high school girls last night to distribute postcards and information about the food drive Hosanna! is doing. Though it was COLD, their desire to serve, their excitement and willingness was humbling! And such a joyful experience to witness and be apart of.

- As classes start back up, i am blessed having a dear group of friends in my program and El Ed block! Kristin, Kristina, Kelli, Amanda, Adam, Becki, Ashley, LOVE YOU ALL. Such encouragers and sources of joy.

- My passionate, joyful mentor Brianna and the words of wisdom she provides

- The constant support my best friend, Sarah provides

- Being able to worship my God. Anywhere, anytime. The richness of Praise at NCU and the beauty of worshipping in my room :)

K, random music video. But i love love Lifehouse's lyrics:

Everything i know has let me down,

so i will just let go, let You turn me inside out

Cause i know i'm not sure about anything,

but You wouldn't have it any other way.